You have been forced to stare at my mug up there 125 times. I apologize for that, but to celebrate my 125th column, we’re going to walk down memory lane. I took a poll to decide the top 10 quotes of all time. Those polled (just myself) decided that these were the best ones. Enjoy!
1. “Despite what people will tell you, squirrels do not taste like chicken. In fact nothing tastes like chicken with the exception of chicken.”
2. “Recapping this scene for anyone who fell asleep; car parked in the middle of the highway, all parties outside vehicle leisurely acting as if they were parked in a perfectly fine parking spot, no emergency lights activated, and me wondering, ‘WHERE ELSE IS IT OKAY TO DO THIS??????????’”
3. “I imagine “Not my problem!” is the motto of grandparents everywhere. I know for a fact that my dad says this to himself as he gives my 2-year-old a Tootsie Roll that is three times bigger than she is.”
4. “To get the ideas flowing,” I said to myself, “Christy, what would bring people to Forks?” Three days later, I still had nothing.”
5. “I recently got asked how to tell the difference between a moose and an elk. I’m not saying this was a stupid question, but the person asked how to tell the difference between a moose and an elk.
6. “We all have that one friend who is smart but dumb at the same time. If you don’t have that friend, you might be that friend. Rest assured, you are in good company. I’m pretty certain that I am that friend.”
7. “Three years of Spanish in high school and I successfully (only) took away that ‘sol’ translates to sun and ‘verde’ translates to green. These two words will no doubt come in handy if I should ever venture to a Spanish-speaking country. A person can never go wrong knowing how to say green sun.”
8. “Most people just tell me to keep my day job. The joke is on these people because this IS my day job.”
9. “Due to Twilight, Forks has received an unfair reputation of never having any sun. To make matters worse, Forks never has any sun.”
10. “’By inhumanely interrogated,'” I mean questioned by anyone with a badge, including mall security.”
Here’s to hoping that Christi lets me write 125 more! Lastly, if you happen to know what the traditional 125th anniversary gift is, please e-mail me at christyrasmussen@yahoo.com so that I may purchase it for myself.
