By Christy Rasmussen-Ford

“Forks is so small, there is only one stoplight in the whole town!”

“Not-uh! We have two now!”

I realize that it’s hard to have Forks taken seriously as a bustling town when we only have one stoplight.

Forks is great … but it’s not bustling.

It’s small and quiet, which is what most people like about it.

Sure, a good amount of us moved away to the supposed greener pastures known as the city, but most of us came back at some point. Reason being: we like the lack of hustle and bustle that Forks offers.

Unfortunately, the lack of hustle and bustle also brings the lack of stoplights.

For those who respond to the stoplight issue immediately with, “Actually, we have two stoplights,” I call for an honest admission.

Admit it, we have one stoplight and one emergency light.

That’s it.

For those of you non-math majors, our grand total of stoplights is more like one-and-one-third instead of two. Feel free to use that number as a comeback to anyone who rudely proclaims we only have one.

Two, though, two is just misleading. We don’t have two. We have one fully functioning, official stoplight.

The other “stoplight” is the blinking emergency light at the intersection of Calawah Way and U.S. Highway 101.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I’m going to go ahead and call this one pointless.

That light confuses me.

I don’t recall receiving an instruction manual in the mail when it was put up.

I have no idea when to stop, when to slow or when to go. I think it changes colors when you’re supposed to stop, but I’m not sure.

I can’t be the only one in town that is confused by this light.

I’m sure it helps in emergencies … for everyone who knows what they are supposed to do.

(Before the flood of hate mail begins to pour in on this subject, please know that I think there should be a real stoplight there – like the one a block away.)

The intersection is horrible and needs a light. I usually avoid it by going to the real stoplight.

We used to have a third “stoplight” at the intersection of Division Street and Spartan Avenue by the post office.

I always said that if I were mayor, I would have it removed. It got removed; (mostly due to my mind control I’m sure).

This light always seemed pointless to me as there are 1,432 other 4-way stops in town and none of them have a blinking light. I guess the stop signs on all four sides were not enough of a reminder to people to stop?

I sure hope that when the light was removed, there were no major collisions due to confusion.

“I see the stop signs, but what happened to the blinking light that I never paid attention to?”

So for now, we only have one official stoplight.

If my mind control works as planned, someone will turn the emergency light into a real light with green meaning go, red meaning stop and yellow meaning hurry up.

Until then, stand proudly by the fact that we only have one.

It doesn’t make us any less of a real town. We just have fewer chances of getting a ticket for running a red light.